Shaneal and I have been talking about a few things and I thought that I should put down some of the conversations before I forget. It seems that every time we try to "pick up where we left off" I forget half the things she has told me.
"Think of it like a three dimensional movie film with the screen built into the camera," Shaneal was saying.
"I would, if I could," I said.
Shaneal grinned a little at my furrowed brow and motioned that I could take a potty break if I needed. I told her I was fine and stopped trying to picture a trillion little cameras with the screens inside them, making up her tiny body.
"We'll come back to that later than, for now it is important that you understand the basics."
"I do understand the basics," I protested, "E=MC2, Mass is latent energy at a rate that is proportional to the speed of light."
"That will do for a start, but the part that you humans haven't come to grips with yet is the speed part. You know, the Time part. Mass is Energy trapped in Time. That's the important part of that equation."
"So Energy is Timeless," I attempted.
"Timeless, All-Time, Time-Neutral - what does it matter? Oops, I didn't mean the pun."
"That's all right. Ok, so what if I said it this way: Mass is the only 'Place' where Time Matters. Pun intended."
"Well," she thought for a while, this time her little forehead was lined, "that actually comes pretty close. You're not so bad," of course she had to add, "...for a human."
"So, pure energy does not feel the effects of Time?" I felt like I was getting the hang of it now.
"That part you humans have figured out. Ol' what's-his-name...."
"Einstein?"
"Yeah, that dude. His faerie went a little far with him but really, how was she to know that a little patent clerk would be taken seriously. We give clues about this stuff all the time but no one takes us seriously. Seems you humans only want to believe what makes you feel comfortable. I can't stop chuckling about the Four Elephants and the Turtle."
"That was you?"
"I said it as part joke, part illustration. But I say a lot of things. You remember about the black hole and the end of the earth, right?"
"How could I forget- ruined my whole vacation."
"So basically we take the tactic of 'Dazzle them with your Brilliance AND Baffle them with your Mushroom Soup'"
"That's not the way I remember that phrase."
"Again, you see, we say things lots of different ways. Some are brilliant and some are mushroom soup. You humans picked up the vulgar phrase that makes no sense, and rejected the poetic one that makes all the sense in the world. Everyone knows what mushroom soup can do to the mind. I challenge you to baffle anyone with the excrement of bull!"
